I bought a journaling book, and the first question it asked was what was my goal.

I wanted to write down, “To have a published book.”

I almost did, but I wasn’t being realistic.  If that was the case, then my life, my whole purpose, would be for that.  I would be writing in my novel every moment I could, thinking about my novel, planning it in my head constantly.

Instead, what takes up most of my time and creativity is work.

At work, they’re constantly asking me questions where I have to think.  I have to make the computer system do things that are not normal.  Some of these clients come up with the craziest things, I swear that someone in the board room is saying, “If they’re an executive, for their oncology they pay half, but for Joe Schmoe, he pays double.  How can we do that?”

Or, “Before they use Viagra, they have to use a generic ED enhancer.  Twice.”

Where do they think up this shit?  That’s the nature of my job; to make our limited computer system do those kinds of things for specific classes and to come up with different ways to screw you, Mr./Ms. Cog In The Machine.

But the point of this blog is not to vent about my job, but to vent about writing.  And one thing I noticed: I haven’t been living the writing life.  THE JOB gets in the way.  However, if I didn’t have THE JOB I wouldn’t have money to pay the bills to keep the computer on.  (Though I should follow Anne Lamont’s dictate and have only a pen, paper and a candle if necessary.)

Hemmingway, my writing computer, needs to be put on a desk.  Not on the kitchen table.  The computer is always there, reminding me of what to do, but when I sit down here, it’s for THE JOB.  I bring home my computer, disconnect Hemmingway, and plug in the company computer.  This space becomes the company’s for 16+ hours a week, when I really should be spending a goodly amount of time down here, with Hemmingway, drinking iced tea and writing Grim’s novel.

I am at the middle of Grim’s novel, I think, the point where, “It can’t get any worse” but it can.  And it will.

I’m not sure if Grim is going to be a pawn or a leader.  That will change the whole dynamic of the novel, of where I planned on sending it.

And maybe there will be only one novel.