Why is something sweeter when you have to sneak it?

Like an office liaison, my dates with writing are when no one is looking.  I write in between doing real work, and I write at home between gaming times.

But why is it, when I get the nod that it’s okay to write, the muse runs away?

I have trained myself all these years to sneak.  I first started writing during school, when I was supposed to be taking notes from the teacher.  I wrote stories.  In college, sometimes, if the subject was boring, I did the same thing.  I wrote when the urge struck me, except during a five-year dry spell.  Then I picked it up with a vengeance and have been trying to write more often.  Since last October, I’ve been trying to write daily.

I’ve been sneaking writing at work since 2007, when I started here.  Short stories, scenes, that kind of thing.  Not novels.  Novels are too big.  Too unwieldy, especially when I have to use my head for some things.

I was out on leave and wrote Grimaulkin’sfirst draft in a month.  Pantsed it before I knew what Pantsing was.  It’s how I wrote all my novels, so I never thought that it was “bad”.  (According to Writer’s Digest, it is.)

Came back, and the writing dried up to daily stories for the game.  So it is now.

Although I’ve been writing Tamerlane these last few days, and a bit of Grimaulkin.  But today, nobody’s around, and those who are around don’t care.  So…why can’t I write?

Because the muses know that they can’t whisper in my ear during the hectic moments of the day.  They know that I am receptive, able to listen.

They’re not trained for that.

They’re trained to drop little things, hints.  Teasers.  In the back of my mind, they’re working on the full story.

Like I got to a point with Tamerlane last night, and thought, “Oh…OH!  I know where you’re going with this!  But will the reader know after I dropped this hint?”

So I have an idea consciously of where we’re going, but will I end up there?

I’m going to go back to Tamerlane, see if I can write more.

No time for writing much yesterday.  Or this morning.

I’m feeling guilty.

Usually about this time in the morning, I have a story in mind or I’ve already written it and posted it.  This morning, I’ve been working.  At home, I was doing some packing for my trip to AZ (for my day job).

That means all the writing has to happen tonight when I get home.  Unless I can squeeze some time here at work.

I was talking to someone here and she said, “You write an awful lot.”  I said, “You run, I write.  It’s the same thing.”

The thing is to make the time for it.  I need to write every day.  It’s as important to me as taking a shot.  More important, actually.

I MUST write.  And I will find the time to do so.

I started doing the planning stages of Tamerlane, and then I decided, “Screw this.  Why don’t I just let him happen?”  So instead of planning out his idiosyncrasies before the page, I’m going to do it as I go along.  Tamerlane is in my head at the moment; what I need to do is to let him out in dribs and drabs.  That will make it fun for me, and even more fun for the reader, I hope.

Julia Cameron makes writing sound so easy.  That’s because, she’s a pantser.

This is an ongoing argument in the writing community.  Should I plot or should I write?

I wrote Grimaulkin 1 Version 1 in a month.  I had an idea of what I was writing from (a Grim much older and wiser, admonishing the reader of the follies of power).  My idea was that the following things would happen:

He’d find out he was gay

He’d get a boyfriend

He’d go to the Academy

His boyfriend would break up with him

He’d get angry and do a deal with a demoness

Who would burn him and mark him as his own

He would get great power

Others would be afraid/jealous of him

He’d escape the Academy

He’d find someone new

He’d return to the Academy with this new man

He’d take over the Academy

He would bring magic to the masses.

The end.

I realize now, writing this plotline, that the whole Salem excursion (Grim 2) is worthless.  Well, not worthless – it was making the point about power and being responsible.  But most of it has nothing to do with this plotline.

I need to work on Grim 3.  I tried to plot it, but here’s the problem with plotting with me:  I write to hear the story.  If I plot it out, then I’ve told myself the story, so that’s it.  But the good thing about plotting is I can change my mind when I do write it (and often do).

So what’s best for me?

PANTSING.

I don’t care what the rest of the writing world says.  They’re talking about getting things done FAST.  “How to get your novel done in 30 days/90 days/1 year/overnight” is like that.

I think I have time.

The YA market (Grim might be going to that market, I’m not sure) is not going to go away any time soon, and the paranormal is going to be around for a long time.  Harry Potter-copy books – which is what I’m pushing Grim to be (“An anti-hero Harry Potter who’s gay”) will remain a big thing.

I’m thinking of writing for Samhain (A gay small press) using the Tamerlane stories.

Speaking of which, I need to write his novel.  Hm, who should I emulate?  Jim Butcher/Harry Dresden?  Alex Venus?  Drood?

It’s one of those days that my meds are actually kicking in.  It’s a day that I want to promote myself.  A day I want to show off.

Unfortunately, I can’t find any tank tops to show off all my tats.  Nor can I really show off that I’m an American and I’m probably going to be the only person who speaks English at the Vocational Meeting that I’m going to.

But mostly, they won’t see my writing ability.

In reading the many how-to-write books I got, I found one thing common to them.  The authors there pushed their own books.  Only one book did I not find that: Writing as a Sacred Path.

Are they showing us an example of what they mean by using their own writing?  Or are they trying to promote it?

Being the cynical person that I am, I’m of the opinion that they’re self-promoters.  Holly Lisle is notorious for this.  “In my novel this…  In my novel that…”  Do you only read your own stuff?

James Scott Bell also doesn’t self-promote, but his books are starting to sound the same.  Just get his “Art of War for Writers” and be done with it.

At least when I read Creating the Novel and Short Story, only a few authors referred to their own work.

I can’t wait until I read “Now Write” for Sci Fi and see how many people refer to George R R Martin versus Brandon Sanderson.  And heck, Holly Lisle who’s written so many books I’ve never heard of.  I’m going to count how many times authors refer to their own work and get back to you.

Meanwhile, I’m going to look for a tank top.  I want to promote good tattoo art.