Krimson passed over the Rainbow Bridge at 3 this morning. Right in front of me. He took his last gasp and just froze. It’s something I can’t unsee in my mind. I have regrets with this one; did I do enough for him? I also realized I have no emergency money. I really need to stop spending down to nothing. And stop taking out payday loans that takes up a third of my disability pay.
We had to Uber ($60 one way) because I have no car. Luckily–I mean, seriously lucky–my publisher sent me an advance to cover that and Krimson’s cremation. Again, no emergency money. I don’t know what we would have done if he hadn’t come through. Bury him in a shallow grave in the back yard? (That’s illegal.)
But that’s enough of the “what if”s that send me into a depressive spiral. I need to find a comedy to get me out of this. I’m reading Starter Villain by John Scalzi and it fits the bill. Review of that coming in a week or so.
We have no cats. It’s been years since I haven’t had a pet. My son wants a dog. I wouldn’t mind, but we don’t have the room for a big dog, and I don’t like small ones. Dogs are higher maintenance than cats. He doesn’t realize it.
My son considered Krimson his brother. He was so brave wrapping him in a blanket and putting him in the carrier. (This means a seizure is due so I have to be careful the next couple of days.)
So for today, I mourn. I already miss your cat butt in my face when I go to sleep.