A Grimoire

1/2 done

Posted on February 5, 2017 by L. Jacob

Water’s stories are done, now all I need to do is drop the sex into them. So far it’s 30K, so I have to come up with another 30K to make it worthwhile. My research thus far has been pretty sad–most of the stories are the same, and the stories are more into the story than the sex. There’s only so many ways to describe the sexual act, though I don’t normally get beyond the vanilla. Other BDSM is just weird to me.

I got the cover for Water, and it’s very nicely done. I’m not putting it up here because a couple of things still need to be changed.

Haven’t been writing much otherwise, unfortunately. Been feeling depressed and angry about my eyesight, though it has gotten better over the past couple of weeks. I go on vacation next week, so my plan is to finish Water by the end of the two weeks. 30K in two weeks? Yeah, sure.

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Is the Media Dead?

Posted on January 22, 2017 by L. Jacob

I usually get my information from Fox, NPR, and Sirius XM, in that order. All of them are biased. All of them are opinionated.

None of them present the information and let you figure it out. They feed you their bias, their opinion. Your opinions are formed by them and their pundits, and you can either regurgitate what they present, or think about what they’re saying and make your own decisions. I believe in being given the information and let me decide.

However, some media do not give all the facts, nor do they give you correct facts. They skew facts. For instance: How many people actually showed up at Trump’s inauguration? CNN says tens of thousands less than Obama’s first inauguration; Fox says more. Where is the truth? Somewhere in between. Why do we have to question the media? Isn’t it their job to question the powers that be and present to us the proper information so we can make true and informed decisions?

From now on, unfortunately, nothing the media states will be believed. Mainstream media hates Trump. The right doesn’t. Unfortunately, the days of Walter Cronkite are over. No longer are there trusted anchors/newspapers that will be unbiased and report things as they are.

It’s too bad.

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Struggling vs worthlessness

Posted on January 15, 2017 by L. Jacob

Amazing how depressed you can feel if you can’t see.

I’m still stuck at home. You would think that I would write more. Nope. It seems the more time I have to write, the less I do write.

Water is up to 30K words, “Pisces” is 10K words. My goal is to have each sign be 20K words, but trying to get the erotica out is like pulling teeth. I’m not in the most pleasant of moods (even doing ERP online), I can’t seem to get into it. But I have a deadline of March 1.

I had a cover reveal on FB and twitter for Grimaulkin:

This is the first book in the series. Possibly three books in total.

I am going to write a short story with Grim for a giveaway or additional story. It’s mostly written, I just have to edit it a little.

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Good news/Bad news

Posted on January 8, 2017 by L. Jacob

Still with double vision. This doesn’t look promising.

According to the doctor I have “Sixth Nerve Palsy,” where the nerve in my eye is weakened and the other muscles pull the eye to the left. The good news is that it’s temporary, and it affects only distance sight. The bad news is it could take a year for it to resolve. However, I can still read and write, which does not give me the excuse of not writing Water. I’m truly struggling with that book. I’m struggling writing anything because, I think, I’m depressed.

I can’t even play the game I usually play. My muse is in hiding. At least I can read and write, so I think I’d better read more. I have 83 books to read according to Goodreads, so I might as well get crackin’.

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When Life Rears its Ugly Head

Posted on January 1, 2017 by L. Jacob

Sometimes, Life gets in the way.

Specifically medical issues.

I’ve had problems with my eyes for the past year. I have a cataract in one eye, which I’m going for surgery over in February. However, this week, I had something worse happen.

Double vision at a distance.

When driving, it looks like people are coming directly at me. If I look across the room, I see two of certain items. Before, they were side by side, with a short distance between then. I could drive, but it was scary. It got steadily worse and now the distance is apparent, and I can see two distinct and clear items, next to each other, but at a greater distance. If I close one eye at a time, I can see okay.

I went to the hospital, thinking I was having a stroke or bleed, but all the tests came out fine. They think it’s neurological, a diabetic neuropathy in the eye. I’m afraid it’s permanent. They can’t guarantee that it’s temporary or not.

What does this have to do with writing? Well, I can at least see close up still. I can write and read what I’m writing. So that’s a positive.

What it has to do with writing is the feeling I have. I’m depressed. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to communicate. I want to stay within my own bubble and remain depressed. My friend said, “Well at least you’re not blind,” which is a small comfort. I can’t drive. I am at the mercy of the bus.

And I’m scared.

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Discovery writing

Posted on December 25, 2016 by L. Jacob

Merry Christmas! Yes, even though I’m an eclectic witch, I still harken back to my Roman Catholic roots and say Merry Christmas.

Pisces is coming along slowly. Very slowly. I don’t seem to be in the mood for writing about sex. I’m writing story. So it’s probably not going to be great erotica, but it might be a pretty good–and historically accurate–story. For Cancer and Scorpio, I need to add a lot more sex into them to make them erotica.

The other thing is, my erotica is pretty vanilla. Very plain, without tying people up or safe words or any BDSM stuff. Boring, maybe. I suppose I need to do some research to make vanilla exciting. Guess I’ll be lurking on the literotica website to get an idea of stories there.

Grimaulkin’s second book’s first and last line came to me overnight last night. If I have both of those in mind, then I know where I’m starting, and where I’ll end up. It’s the in between that I don’t know anything about yet, and that’s what makes me an “intuitive” or discovery writer. I don’t usually know what I’m doing until I get to the story itself. I have noticed if I plan out the story, I get bored easily. It’s not that I don’t find the story easier–it’s a lot easier if I plan it out. But not planning it actually makes it more fun, makes we want to sit at the keyboard because I want to know what happens next.

However the problem with being a discovery writer is what I’m running into with Pisces. I have a vague idea of what’s going to happen in the story, but no idea how to get there. I need to provide certain scenes for the erotica portion of the story, but, again, that’s a constraint. Discovery writers hate constraints. This is also why I’m no good at being a romance author, either. Romances have a formula. I don’t follow maps to places that I’ve been to before. I only use maps to someplace I’ve never been to. I’ve read enough “romance” within the fantasy genre to know the score. I want to dispose of the map and just see where the writing takes me. I know it seems like I’m trusting in the muses, but (most of the time) they’ve never let me down before.

So I personally think that maybe, if you’re a plotter, try letting things go and let the Universe take you on a ride. What you end up with might be trash, but it’ll be an experiment in how your mind works.

So, until the new year, keep writing!

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Rewrites in progress

Posted on December 18, 2016 by L. Jacob

I received Grimaulkin back from my beta reader, who gave me some good ideas that I’m going to try in the story. As usual, my ending was too short, in his opinion, that there should be something more. In addition part of the ending is not appropriate for YA, so I have to cut it or allude to it. That will be difficult, as I’m not used to alluding to something so drastic as what Grim goes through. It’s an important part of why he does what he does and how he becomes the man he is. But this is for a YA/College aged audience. I also have to tone him down a little. Being gay in 2000 is not like being gay now.

Brothers of the Zodiac: Water is coming along slowly, which is not good for erotica. I spent 3 hours in Excel on night trying to figure out how to create a visual timeline for the different “brothers”.

I’m starting War Mage from scratch this time. My beta reader gave me another idea for the story that makes me start it from the beginning, with new ideas for conflicts and, of course, to add more women. However, my heart’s not in War Mage. It’s like a piece of work that I have to get out, a piece of work that I’ve put aside for too long and no longer have the passion for. I don’t know anyone who served at FOB Blessing; I have to take the word of a memoirist who didn’t write down the details, and find pictures on YouTube and the internet. (Like how man airstrips does Jalalabad Airfield have? When did the Pizza Hut show up? Yes, they had a Pizza Hut there.)

And to let you know, Homecoming will be on sale from December 19-26 for .99 on the Kindle, Smashwords, Nook and Kobo. All the Paper Angel Press books are going to be for that price. What a great way to load up your device! Oh, and even better–get the ebook for .99 and then the audiobook for .99.

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Continuing

Posted on December 11, 2016 by L. Jacob

Still working on Water. Grimaulkin is still with the beta reader, though I have some feedback that I need to work on (add more straight characters because the story takes place in 2000, and gay people are still firmly in the closet, build up the two secondary characters).

So there isn’t much to talk about this week. I’m having trouble with Pisces in Water, mostly because I don’t know many Pisces, and I need to do more research on surgeons and doctors during the Civil War. I know they weren’t looked kindly upon, seen as butchers and cold-hearted men, but Pisces types like to help people. I have plenty of astrology books so I can look Pisces up.

Tomorrow, my son is set loose upon the world. He takes the bus for the first time to get to his new job. I’m terrified and proud at the same time. He’s autistic, so I’m afraid he’ll eventually take the wrong bus sometime and end up in some place he doesn’t know and can’t describe to me, so I won’t know where he is to find him. He is going to have a handler for the first couple of times he goes on the bus, but after that, he’s alone. I’m proud that he’s going to finally go to work.

There’s a story in there.

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The Passion is Gone

Posted on December 4, 2016 by L. Jacob

Saturday was my last appearance for the year, and there’s one thing I learned.

I need a better pitch.

My pitch leaves too much to the imagination. I need to tell the plot of my novel in one sentence.

But I noticed, too, that Homecoming is not my baby anymore. I ran out of passion for it at Comicon. I need to bring out something new. War Mage might fit the bill, but I’ve been sitting with that story for over a year, and it feels old. Grimaulkin is shiny and new (to me) and is what I want to press forward. I got some good pointers from some beta readers, though I need to rewrite it in spots. It’s fresh and new enough to me that the rewrites are still enjoyable. War Mage would be on its 8th rewrite. Personally, I think that’s way too much and far too long for a rewrite. War Mage has turned into work, not play.

I was asked to do some erotica, and I had started an erotica/romance series called Brothers of the Zodiac. I separated them into four novels, three signs each, instead of the initial separation of just 12 short stories. The first novel will be Water, with the signs Scorpio, Pisces, and Cancer. The Brothers are guardians from the goddess Ishtar, who takes warriors from the underworld and brings them back to life. They are supposed to help and support humanity in some way. The only way they can die is if they “find love in the eyes of another man.” Obviously gay erotica. I tried the write straight erotica, but I don’t have a good grasp on female characters.

Unfortunately, both Water stories (Cancer and Scorpio) I’ve done so far equal only 12,000 words. I have to pad the stories, making them at least 20K words a piece. Scorpio is the origin story. My plan is to have them all across the timeline of Western history, and, of course, their story will lead up to their deaths.

Hopefully I can work up the passion, the enthusiasm, for these stories.

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Music or No Music?

Posted on November 27, 2016 by L. Jacob

My son asked me recently what I listen to when I write. It depends on the mood. And where I am.

If I’m alone, and downstairs in my writing cellar with my Mac, I don’t usually listen to anything. However, if my son is also in the cellar (where the only TV in the house is located), I overhear what he’s watching. If he stays downstairs too long, I end up going to my Windows computer. There, I have most of my music.

Typically, if I’m going to listen to music, I will either listen to the same song on a loop (the most recent one is “The Honeythief” by Hipsway) or a playlist (mostly consisting of AC/DC). Those things get me in the mood for writing, especially for action scenes. More easy listening–lavish description, internal monologues–I switch on to Sirius XM’s “The Bridge” channel. Most of the songs I have downloaded are not slow and easy listening.

Grimaulkin has been through an edit, and is going off to my beta reader this week. War Mage is going to wait until a new editor takes a peek at it.

I have nothing to write. I feel so empty, like there is something I must write, but I have no idea what.

I will be at Rhodes on the Pawtuxet on December 3 from 9-5 at the Rhode Island Author Expo.

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