Sometimes, Life gets in the way.

Specifically medical issues.

I’ve had problems with my eyes for the past year. I have a cataract in one eye, which I’m going for surgery over in February. However, this week, I had something worse happen.

Double vision at a distance.

When driving, it looks like people are coming directly at me. If I look across the room, I see two of certain items. Before, they were side by side, with a short distance between then. I could drive, but it was scary. It got steadily worse and now the distance is apparent, and I can see two distinct and clear items, next to each other, but at a greater distance.  If I close one eye at a time, I can see okay.

I went to the hospital, thinking I was having a stroke or bleed, but all the tests came out fine. They think it’s neurological, a diabetic neuropathy in the eye. I’m afraid it’s permanent. They can’t guarantee that it’s temporary or not.

What does this have to do with writing? Well, I can at least see close up still. I can write and read what I’m writing. So that’s a positive.

What it has to do with writing is the feeling I have. I’m depressed. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to communicate. I want to stay within my own bubble and remain depressed. My friend said, “Well at least you’re not blind,” which is a small comfort. I can’t drive. I am at the mercy of the bus.

And I’m scared.