Buy Stock in Band-Aids and Uber

So. I have had more needles stuck in me for the past few weeks than I’d like.

My right middle finger kept sticking closed. (Into my palm. Not open or I’d have a lot of explaining to do.) Tried cortizol shots. No dice. Surgery was the other option. So okay, why not? I had to get clearance from my cardiologist because of heart issues, cleared by my endocrinologist, nephrologist, and PCP. This is what happens when you have co-morbidities–everyone has to put their two cents in.

Had the surgery two weeks ago. My hand was wrapped up in a soft cast, and I had it taken off on the 27th. Surgery is successful, although it messed up my head line with an additional scar.

My left middle finger is now doing the same thing. I can’t do anything about it, unfortunately, because that is the side my dialysis graft is on. According to the nephrologist, “It’ll never heal.” And, not to mention, blow up my graft if you put a tourniquet anywhere on my arm. I’ll live with it.

Meanwhile, I’ve been Ubering places. Even though I don’t have to worry anymore about maintenance and upkeep of my own vehicle, we get to ride in all kinds of nice cars and SUV’s (Tesla FTW, but could barely fit the transport wheelchair in its trunk), It’s expensive. There’s a couple of shelters I’d like to go to for cats–or a small-to-medium dog–but it’ll take me at least $25 on a one way trip to get to the local animal shelter. And I’d have to use the “pet option” which charges an extra $5-$10.

Hopefully, that will be the end of medical issues for me.

Review: Starter Villain

Okay, I’ll admit–this was a great book. A four star because I didn’t like the end. and the main character was way too smart.

This is the first book this year that I read without looking to see how much longer I had to read. I read John Scalzi’s Old Man’s War and it’s one of my favorites. He’s a prolific writer. I might pick up a few others of his.

The main character’s uncle leaves him with the family business. We learn about what it is and who is in charge (the cats, as they should be). The dolphins have read Marx and don’t want to be controlled. I was not going to be surprised if he had kamikaze dolphins. I’m sure Scalzi thought of it and said, “Nobody would believe that.” If he only knew.

This is in my read and liked pile.

“My brother is dead.”

Krimson passed over the Rainbow Bridge at 3 this morning. Right in front of me. He took his last gasp and just froze. It’s something I can’t unsee in my mind. I have regrets with this one; did I do enough for him? I also realized I have no emergency money. I really need to stop spending down to nothing. And stop taking out payday loans that takes up a third of my disability pay.

We had to Uber ($60 one way) because I have no car. Luckily–I mean, seriously lucky–my publisher sent me an advance to cover that and Krimson’s cremation. Again, no emergency money. I don’t know what we would have done if he hadn’t come through. Bury him in a shallow grave in the back yard? (That’s illegal.)

But that’s enough of the “what if”s that send me into a depressive spiral. I need to find a comedy to get me out of this. I’m reading Starter Villain by John Scalzi and it fits the bill. Review of that coming in a week or so.

We have no cats. It’s been years since I haven’t had a pet. My son wants a dog. I wouldn’t mind, but we don’t have the room for a big dog, and I don’t like small ones. Dogs are higher maintenance than cats. He doesn’t realize it.

My son considered Krimson his brother. He was so brave wrapping him in a blanket and putting him in the carrier. (This means a seizure is due so I have to be careful the next couple of days.)

So for today, I mourn. I already miss your cat butt in my face when I go to sleep.

Review: Apprentice of the Dead

DNF

I didn’t realize this was YA until I started reading it. I’ve read YA–and wrote it. They’re fast reads, so I decided to stick with it for a while.

Imagine contemporary technology used with an Egyptian backdrop? I had a hard time with that.

The writing is pretty good, crisp and tight. But it’s a female protag, a Romantasy element, present tense, and first person who seems to accept everything as it happens. These are red lines for me. When a mystery is added to the story, I didn’t care. Too much stuff going on, and I know she’s not going to solve everything in 80 or so pages. This was a good teaser novel for the first book in the series.

But I don’t have time for that.

“I’ve fallen and can’t get up!”

I fell four times this week. Two were out of bed, and two when I lost my balance trying to feed the cat. One I went to the hospital for and they x-rayed my entire right side. No broken or fractured bones. The out-of-bed was because my mattress is too big for my bed. I have found that I can climb into my “big comfy chair” and once I’m there, I can haul myself into the chair and get up that way. My son is there to help by giving me a little push or using the gait belt I bought to lift me up.

All of a sudden, my legs now feel like lead, especially the right side. I can’t tell where my foot or leg is in space. I have to watch where I put my foot and leg because I run over my foot with the walker. Going up and down stairs scares me. Luckily I had someone put in a railing. And my son lifts me up when I go up the stairs. I lead off with my left, haul myself up with the railing, dragging the right leg up. Every time I take the stairs (which I have to because the bathroom , bed, and computer are there) I’m so scared of falling down them. So far, I almost fell down once when I missed a step.

I have a Life-Alert. I also have a button that rings in his room so he can come down and help me. What would be good is to have a house with no stairs! I was going to sell my house, but if I did that, I’d lose Medicaid for about three years when I spend the money I make from the house. I would flip it to a mobile home, but I can’t afford the HOA fees (the rent on the land). I could afford it at the 55+ communities, but then if something happens to me, my son would get kicked out.

So, yes, my house scares me.