At the risk of turning off everyone from this blog or my writing, I’m going to be honest here. When I heard about Columbine, I will never forget my feelings while they gathered all the information on the two kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What a great idea.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n By then, I was out of college and doing medical billing for a psych hospital (how ironic). I didn’t realize I had a “hit list”, a “plan”, and plenty of “opportunity.” As the years went by, I realize now that my obsession with mass shootings was because “Why didn’t I think of that?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn’t until 2019 when I got good therapy and the right meds. So after the last mass shooting, the one one at WalMart in Virginia, I felt sad. Not for the shooter, but for everyone else. I read his “manifesto” and my heart broke. Dude. I know what you were going through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How can I reach these potential killers and tell them, “Hey, you’re not alone. I was like you. Then I got better. Here’s how.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n I still have to go through this box. This box that will uncover my dark side that no one understood. The dark side that I can look at now and realize what I was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And after that comes the diaries in my hope chest. How far back did this go?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I did some uncovering today. In March 1989, I wrote a poem called “revenge”. Basically, it was a fantasy of blowing someone’s head off. I also wrote another poem called “Abandonment,” and a chapter from a novel “Blood And Roses” … Continue reading ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/grimaulkin.com\/ljacob-today\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/IMG_0812-rotated.jpg\")
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