Category Archives: Inspiration

Make backups!

Finished Edit 2. Then my Windows computer crashed.  It’s stuck on the Administrator screen, and I’ve tried safe mode, all sorts of fixes I found on the net.

Luckily, Homecoming is on my Mac (which is what I’m typing from right now). The good news is that I saved Blood From A Stone on a flash drive; the bad news is that it’s in .doc format, not Scrivener.

I have a feeling that my computer guy is just going to wipe the drive and start new. I have not realized how boring my life is without my computer. At least I have the Mac and my iPad/iPhone if necessary.

Luckily, I made backups of my novels; however, I redid Brothers of the Zodiac and have lost all that information.  Unfortunately, due to xmas and budgetary constraints, I can’t fix it until after xmas.

I’ll be going to bed a lot earlier.

I had an idea for a story, which I outlined and did beats for. Part of me wants to do it, but part of me doesn’t really care; my heart’s not into it. I need another neat story to get into. Maybe War Mage’s rewrite?

Write what you know

I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately, mostly having to do with magic. When I was younger I was a pagan, one of the ones that was deeply into the environment, natural healing, all that kind of stuff.

Then I grew up.

I realized that there was better living through chemistry. I was chronically depressed. I was on the assorted medications for depression. I still wrote but a lot of my articles and stories were about other people. They were about how I’d dealt with other people and what they meant to me.

So the tattoo that I got, the second tattoo that I got, the one with the star and the crow, which was my name, Starcrowe, I outgrew it and put it aside.  I had a story that went along with my “initiation”, that I was initiated in the faerie tradition.if you’re familiar with Wicca you would know that 1) they wouldn’t let a girl be initiated in the faerie tradition, and 2) in the early 1990s there wasn’t any. Being a Sagittarius, I lied.

I made up an initiation based on the Gardnerian tradition, an initiation that I did attend as a spectator. It was all hogwash. Now I confess that I never had in initiation. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m not a witch. In fact I hate that term. It still has so many negative connotations, that I don’t like to call myself a witch. I don’t like to call myself Wiccan either. And I don’t like to call myself a pagan.

I prefer to call myself a mage or magician. Unfortunately wizards are for males, and unless I want to be transgender I can’t take that.  I’ve heard the term “chaos magician”, it sounds pretty close to what I am. I’m eclectic, but I’d like to think that I’m gray not necessarily white or black.

?nyway, what does this have to do with writing? Most of what it has to do with writing is the fact that my most recent novel is using magic, but mostly magic from the Key of Solomon and old Hermetic traditions.  Personally I hate Hermetic traditions, because they’re so secretive. They think that what they know shouldn’t be given out to the masses. I don’t trust them, I don’t like them. However, I’m a Unitarian, and if you believe in it and you like it, all the more power to you.

So anyway, I’ve gone back to my old roots with Wicca and with chaos magicians. However I don’t consider myself a Wiccan. There are some things that I will use modern society for, such as my depression, and my other health problems; but there are other things that I feel I can work with.

what I’m working on right now, or at least for Nanowrimo, is going to be a murder mystery. No paranormal involved. Just a straight up murder mystery that has to do with some gay guys. I’ve done an outline, and I’ve done some cards planning out what each scene is going to be. If I do any more details than that, then I’m not going to want to write the story.

I’m chomping at the bit in order to get the story started. But I have to wait until next week. I plan on dictating it just like I’m dictating this. Amazing isn’t it? I’ll do some writing at work probably, dictated into my normal routine. I’m not going to watch TV anymore, and I’m going to try and do 8 min. of writing in the morning. This is based on the 8 min. habit by Monica Leonnel, that I just finished reading last night.  If I can do 20 min. of writing based on a card reading, then I suppose I can do 8 min. of writing based on a prompt somewhere.

I’m debating whether or not to post my story here or somewhere else. I don’t know whether to post it on 800 words, or to establish a new blog just for this. Maybe I’ll do it on 800 words, because I have fans there.

When the outline’s too short

I outline, barely, what I need to do when I write.  I just started to outline with these past two novels.  Normally I’m a total pantser, and I write whatever the muse tells me to do.

So I did a very general outline when I first started War Mage.  It was like “Meets dragons”, “Black Lions”, “Meets <Ware>”.  Then I go off and write.

It seems, sometimes, that the characters do their own thing.  Okay, I let them, figuring that’s what rewriting is for.

I’m deep in the middle of the first draft, transcribing it as I’m going along.  Already one entire scene appeared out of nowhere (because I wasn’t utilizing a character enough) into the second draft, and a huge scene that I wrote in one 2-hour stretch disappeared.  I’m not sure if I’ll use that scene or not. Ever.

Today, I listened to a podcast that I won’t listen to anymore because the hostess takes over the entire conversation for blocks of minutes leaving her guests to say, “Oh, that’s nice.”   The hostess, of course, said that nobody makes their characters grow in romance fiction anymore.  And that got me to thinking, did I make Brent grow at all?  Because right now, War Mage reads like a series of vignettes, a bunch of scenes, where he’s reporting on what’s happening but we don’t get what he thinks.  Hell, half of the people he talks to have no names.

Like the scene I wrote last night – it’s total reporting of what happened.  No inner dialogue, no reaction on his part.  And it was supposed to be a powerful scene.

This is what I’m deathly afraid of.  I’ve made a two-dimensional main character.

So once I transcribe the first/second draft, I’ll try to make him grow.

But in the meantime, my outline is getting too short.  What does this mean?

I have to brainstorm.  This is where index cards come in handy.  Because I’m a character-driven writer, I start stories with characters, not plot (sometimes I have a Point A to Point B story, and nothing in between).

I’m going to try this:  I’ll get some index cards and write a backstory, quick and dirty.  Name, age, where they’re from, what branch/division/company they’re in, physical description.  How they interacted with MC.  I should have a nice healthy stack.

Then I’ll pull one out.  Would this character show up again?  If so, how?  What would he do next with Brent?

If nothing comes to mind, I have some writing prompt books and a couple of characterization books to help me through.

Plot will find its way out then.

Oh, by the way, I’m up to 23K words.  I do have a bare bones of a plot, but, like I said, the outline is getting too short and there’s no end in sight.

 

Distractions

I’m up to 20K transcribed, probably another 5K written in longhand for War Mage.  I’m testing out my book cover person with Grim and Scott from Champions.

I have to do a pinterest board for War Mage.

Here’s Grim’s.

I wrote for three hours this whole weekend – yes, I know that’s not much, considering I wrote a whole weekend at first.  I tried to read Gentlemen Bastards to at least finish it – I’ve got about 100 pages to go – and then realized that my right eye decided to pull a double-vision on me, in addition to me being nearsighted and I can’t read normal 10 point font.  So I can’t see the words, they’re doubled (black on top, gray on the bottom).

That, along with a very scary episode in which an ambulance had to take me to the hospital in the early morning hours last week, kind of put a damper on my writing.

So I ended up mindlessly gaming, looking through builds and trying them out.  I’ve still been writing daily, but not as many words.  I need to get back into it.

I’m just afraid that after I do this plot point, I don’t have another plot point to go to until the hero meets his nemesis (at least for this book).  And then the book ends, because I don’t know what to put my hero through after that.

Pantsing is tough in that way.  It’s always scary to keep jumping from rooftop to rooftop, hoping you can get the other side, or at least land safely.  Maybe some of my plot cards/cubes/apps can give me some ideas.

War Mage – the muse

I’ve entitled my next (maybe) series to be War Mage.

So far I’ve done more writing than researching.  (Did you know the Afghan war is STILL going on?  Since 2001?????)  13,727 transcribed words, another 2K or so left to transcribe in my notebook.

I outlined.  God help me, I actually outlined.  Not anything major, because I knew darn well that if I detail-outlined, I’d never write the book.  I just put in one or two words of what the plot points are and put them in the outline.  The muse then takes a look at it and we write.  She knows, for instance that “Sarah” is when the main character meets his old flame.  What happens?  How does he treat him?  How does he treat her?  Do they still care?

I’ve noticed that as long as I got some semblance of an outline, that I will follow a set group of plot points or action points I want to hit.  I also need to write in my notebook the beginning of the scene, at least the first two lines.  So that when I sit down and start the writing, that I will know where I need to start and what plot point I may need to hit.

The other thing is, I’ve realized, that this book is not the first in the series.  The first in the series really needs to take place in Afghanistan.  Maybe a few of the books in the series need to take place there.  But it starts in Afghanistan, goes to the States, then ends back in Afghanistan.

I’m wondering if this character is any good.  He seems flat to me.  He’s got power and ability, doesn’t use it often unless he’s angry (“You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”) or passionate or has extreme emotion.  He has a short fuse, the power to back it up, and he’s got luck on his side – until…

That’s the problem.  Nothing seriously bad has happened to him yet.  I know what the big bad is.  I’ve been working on developing him as a powerful mage so much that I haven’t made bad things happen.  Or if they do, they just roll off him.

Well, something’s gotta give.  13K words, and nary a conflict.

Okay muse, let’s go to sleep and think about this.

The Memoir

I have two things I’m working on.  I’m not sure if I like either one, because they both take place in the past.

My coworker’s husband passed away.  My coworker’s in her early 40’s.  He died of a sudden illness.  It was a shock.

I was fine talking about it, but I realized how eerie it was compared to my experience.  As I told this to my counselor she said, “You should write a memoir.”

I had it in mind these past few years, even with a title: Torn Asunder.  It’s been seven years now, and to think about revisiting that moment in time as if it was yesterday…

So I decided to do it.  It’s in Scrivener, and I may end up doing it as a Kindle book because it’s not going to be long enough for a real book.  Or I’ll do it as “Book one in a trilogy”, with the other two being about dealing with an autistic child and borderline personality disorder/video game addiction.  I haven’t published it anywhere.

The other thing I decided to do was write out the Leopard Knight – Mal and Knight’s story.  That is published here.

I’m still playing games more than writing.  Doing these two things is like work to me, because I’m an “organic” writer.  I want to see how the story goes and later ends up.  I don’t know the end usually when I start a story.  However, in these cases, I know the end, and details in the middle, and how it all began.  It’s like I’m regurgitating a story I already have memorized.

However, nobody else knows the story like I do.

Review:

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I finally broke down and decided to use my Netflix account for myself.  Being a deep-seated lover of comic books and the super hero genre, I figured I’d watch a couple of super hero stories.  I started with this.

I’m trying so hard not to binge watch this.  I’m only on Volume 1, episode 4.  Even though it’s more like Russel Stover’s than Godiva, it’s still like chocolate and I know I’ll get sick and overwhelmed if I see the entire thing at once.  I have found that I like Netflix over DVD’s.  I’m not sure if I’ll go out and buy this on DVD – it’s good, but not like RED, which was awesome and I had to have the DVD.

Gold Nuggets Among Dross

I finally figured out how to export my posts from WordPress into Word.  It’s not pretty, it’s certainly not clean, but the words are there, and that’s the important part.  Downloaded them by year.

I noticed that I started 800 Words as my junk drawer for writing.  Now I write for the two people who read it.  I know they like when I use their characters, and I only hope I do them justice.  (I suppose I do, otherwise they wouldn’t keep playing with me, I guess.)  But I opened up the second or third entry into 800 Words and read it.

And I was amazed.  No way; seriously, I wrote this shit?  There must be more nuggets in there somewhere.

The writing that is play seems to be a lot of fun.  I’m using Take Ten for Writers, which gives me ten minutes a day to write – the same amount of time that What’s-Her-Name from Writing Down the Bones wants me to write, minimally, per day.  That’s about a page in my composition book.

Hell, I can do that.

800 Words is just over a page and a half.  I can usually squeeze that out, too, though it takes me an hour.  Not because I type slow, but because I’m often keeping the end in mind and letting myself meander to get there.  Depending, of course, on whether I need to pad to hit my word count.

Stuff I’m working on:

Mal and Knight’s story over in Tumblr, starting from the beginning.  This one’s going to be a novel, though I would love a graphic novel if I could find an artist around here.  Craig’s List gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Daily writing in my composition book, the notebook at work, the notebook downstairs at the kitchen table, the notebook in the bathroom – you laugh.  Oh, shit, I need one in bed.  Taking care of that tonight!

Coming up with ideas for RP in Champions.  

Coming up with storylines for the characters I’m keeping and want to write more about.  Firefighter?  This means you.  Cybermancer?  You got fans because you’re hot so they want to know more about you.

And on it goes.

Reading:

Dead Iron by Davon (something-or-other).  Still following my (alleged) misogynistic tendencies of not reading a fantasy book by a female author because they can’t write male heroes worth a damn, I have found out that some males cannot write female heroines worth a damn, either.  Not sure yet about this guy because his heroine hasn’t been on-screen long enough for me to make a decision.  If the main male protagonist and this girl get together, I’m going to throw the book across the room in disgust.

Resolutions

So begins the new year.  It begins with a new journal, a new daily journal (which I’m still trying to think of what to do with it), and new resolutions.

Other than the typical “Lose weight, be more healthy, get on a budget, etc.” bullshit which fails by February, I plan on writing more.  To be productive.  To try and use my creativity for more than just a few select fans, but to put it out there.

First thing is, I’m going to write 800 words a day.  This includes diaries (in my journal, it’s 3 pages or 1 hour), my blog, and here.

I plan on blogging in 800 Words at least twice a week.

I plan on blogging here once a week.

Every day I will write something somewhere.  Hither and yon, a writer’s notebook, a journal, a diary – it doesn’t matter where, it has to be writing.  If I don’t do it at work, I’ll have to do it at home.  No news/tv/gaming until writing is done.

And finally…NO MORE NOTEBOOKS.

Pens, however, are another story…

Oh, yes, they call him The Streak! (Boogitty Boogitty)

I have a streak.  I had eight days of writing 800+ words.

(Oh, by the way, that title came from “The Streak” by Ray Stevens, from the ’70’s when humorous albums and songs were all the rage.  None of that stuff around anymore.)

I blew it on the weekend.  Why, I don’t know.  Didn’t do it Tuesday because of work and trying to help a friend through a trying time with her loser of a boyfriend.

By the way, her loser of a boyfriend will be immortalized as Grim’s father in my novel.

I told my CA-friend that I was writing stories, and I have about 25 characters – actually, more.  He asked me (jokingly) if I was doing an epic.  Hmmm.   HMMMMM.

What if I gather some of these stories, make them slightly interact with each other, and make it an epic superhero story set in the modern day?  What city?  New York would be big enough for them, I’m sure.  I know nothing about the West Coast.  Or Washington DC?  Miami, Florida? Or an entirely new town/city off the eastern seaboard.

I started organizing 800 Words’ website to make it easier to get at the characters that are “live”.  Instead of tags, they are now categories.  Knight no longer is under the Champions banner, because I actually plan on taking him and Mal and Scott out and writing an epic novel.  Probably to Samhain publishing.  Should I include Blake, Mike, and all the other guys Scott is/was involved with?  Nah, then he’d look like a slut, and I don’t want to do that to him.  So not ALL the other guys.

I might do the Knight story for Nanowrimo.

My God, that’s only 3 months away!  I need to kick up my daily average.

Description, description, description.  And exercises.

I have allowed my journal to become an initial place for stories, where I start the stories and hope to finish them online or something.  I’ve noticed I don’t stray much from the first draft.

I’m also noticing I’m manic.  All I want to do is write.  Why am I manic?  I’m taking too much of my happy pills, 10 MG more than I should.  Why, you ask?  Because I’ve gotten samples from my shrink, and they’re 15MG.  I take 20.  Of course they don’t have 5MG samples, and I’m not going to fart around with the pill cutter to cut these itty bitty things into quarters.  Or thirds.  Whatever.  Anyway, I don’t have time for that.  So I put in 2 15MG pills.  I’ve done it for 2 weeks now, and WEEEEEE!

Heh, maybe I should save them for Nano.

Scared and tired

On my twitter account, I said, “800 words for 3 days in a row.  I’m tired.”

The worst part for me is getting started.  Once I get started, however, it’s like I can see different threads that show the end.  I pick one of those threads and I write toward it.

Most of the stuff I’m writing is bullshit.  It’s not even a story, or if it is, it meanders.  Toxicon’s story was horrible.  It started in one place and ended up in another.  Holder’s went all over the place before ending where it began.  And Jack’s – well, it was an all-of-a-sudden thing with him.

It’s crap.  It’s garbage.

But it’s writing.

Getting past that editor in my head is the worst part.  The one that says, “You have an audience, you know, and they’re reading this shit – they’re not going to read your stuff anymore because you’re not staying with one thing that they know.  They want to know about Knight and Mike, maybe Toxi – but who are these other guys you’re writing about?  They don’t care.”

I’m not sure.  But it’s my blog, it’s a raw blog, and it’s meant to have garbage.  I only hope that they stick with it – or if they want to skip over it, that’s fine with me, too.  The idea is to get 800 words out, and I feel that I need to put it somewhere where people can see it.  Otherwise, my feet are not held to the fire and I won’t do anything.

I’m reading Bird by Bird, and finding it to be fun and true in parts.  I got to the “Jealousy” essay and I was thinking, “Yes, YES, that’s so me.”  To read someone else’s crap and say, “This is crap.  Why did they get published and I’m not?”

Well, I can answer that pretty easily:  Because I don’t submit.    I’m too scared.

I want to submit to Samhain Publishing.  I wish WD would put together a “small publisher” book instead having to push us to getting into the BIG THREE.  Grimaulkin is not going to be a best seller.  I’ll probably be on independent podcasts (though I think I’d refuse, because I don’t want to disappoint the readers who are reading “Jacob Logan”‘s stories).   I still think of 50 Shades of Grey and know that the only reason that sold is it’s fanfic of Twilight (another story that should never have seen the light of day).  What if I try to sell Grimaulkin as fanfic of Harry Potter?  Will it hit the bestseller list?  No, because we need sex in it.

Some of my other characters are epic and I want to write their stories – Knight and Mal, for instance.  Casey, my first love.  Mike and Scott (as opposed to Grimaulkin).

Meanwhile, I’ll still be ADD and write character stories all over the place…